Holy Crap Cookies (Chocolate Meringues)

You’ll never be so excited to eat poo than when you set your eyes upon these holy crap cookies. Unattractive chocolate meringues suddenly become an entertaining treat with the addition of a yellow chocolate halo.

Happy April Fools Day! To celebrate I give you poop cookies! Of course they are not made from poop, they just look like it. And yes there is a random gold ring on them because that way they could be dubbed Holy Crap Cookies. I was inspired to make these cookies at work one day (yes amongst my Salmonella experiments) when I exclaimed “holy crap” and my friend/co-worker Haley said that she was going to be that for Halloween this year – wear brown and a halo. Of course my mind immediately took the logical next step and went to food, deciding that “holy crap” cookies needed to be a thing (especially after a Google search produced nothing).

We spent the next few minutes trying to decide the best way to execute this delectable treat, from high-hat chocolate cookies to sugar cookie cut-outs, but the primary concern was what to make the halo out of and how to place it on top. In the end we decided that swirly, tall, chocolate meringues would do the job and all that had to be added was a ring of yellow chocolate candy coating for the halo. In my mind’s eye, they were going to turn out great.

When the meringue was piped onto the cookie sheets, they looked like they were going to meet my expectations – they were poo-fection! But much to my dismay, after baking in the oven they flattened out and cracked, which lead me to proclaim that they “looked like poo” and started brainstorming what went wrong and how to fix it for the second batch. But then I stopped myself, as I realized while they were not cute or pretty, they did in fact look like poo. And I since that’s what I was going for, why not just run with the recipe fail and turn it into a success?

But I still would like to know for future reference: when I decide to make non-poo looking meringues, what is the secret to tall, shape-holding meringues?

One year ago: Greek Yogurt-Banana Chocolate Chip Pancakes

Two years ago: Blueberry Blue Velvet Cake

Three years ago: Rainbow Guacamole Deviled Eggs

Five years ago: Baked Funfetti Doughnuts

HOLY CRAP COOKIES (CHOCOLATE MERINGUES)

Makes 2 dozen

Ingredients:

5 large egg whites

1/2 tsp cream of tartar

1/8 tsp salt

1/2 cup granulated sugar

1/2 cup packed brown sugar

1 tsp vanilla extract

2 Tbsp cocoa powder

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 250°F. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper or silicone baking mats, set aside.
2. In a large bowl, beat egg whites with a mixer at high speed until foamy. Add cream of tartar and salt, beating until soft peaks form. Gradually add sugars, 1 tablespoon at a time, beating until stiff peaks form. Add vanilla and cocoa powder and beat 1 minute.
3. Spoon or pipe 24 (2-inch-round) mounds onto prepared baking sheets. Place in oven and bake for 1 hour or until dry to touch, rotating pans halfway through cooking. (Meringues are done when surface is dry and meringues can be removed from paper without sticking to fingers.) Turn oven off and cool meringues in oven 1 hour. Remove from oven and carefully remove meringues from paper.
4. While the meringues are cooling in the oven, place yellow candy coating in a small zip top bag and microwave on 50% powder in 30 second intervals until melted. Snip off a corn of the bag and draw circles on a sheet of parchment paper. Once solidified, place on top of each meringue to act as a halo.

Source: Adapted slightly from Cooking Light The New Way to Cook Light Cookbook.